The World Through My Eyes

This is something that I wrote a long time ago, still come back to it alot. If you do not wish to read this please just continue on to the next post.

I’m still hounded by the fact that I am pained by my own humanity. Yet it is something that I can never over come by myself. Is there a way to over come this? If we remain in Christ, if we grow up in Christ, will we reach a point where we will no longer sin? Ever since I’ve been saved I’ve tried to live a life flawless. This is something that I cannot do! In 1 Corn. 12:7-10, Paul had a thorn in his flesh, to keep him from growing conceited. I do not feel like I’m growing conceited, and I am no where near Paul. But I still feel as if there is a thorn in my side that pains me. I really can’t get past this whole reality of sin and the law of sin. Maybe it is me, maybe it’s the fact that I’m over analyzing my life. I am reminded of the song “I Pictured it,” by John Reuben. In it he says;

“And then there was me: Analyzing life more than I was living, anything possible good, I destroyed before the chance was ever given. See if I never have anything I’ll never have to lose anything; but then again if I never had anything worth losing I guess I lost everything. Either way, you could say, Pain will become a result from both, so actually I’m giving into the very thing that I fear the most: Losing it all, everything, completely unaware, that a fear of failure was the one thing that was taking me there. Fear of life, fear of love, fear of man, failure to relate. How I and God, and his voice to me would even begin to translate. So I wait, to escape this condition of rationalizing my own destruction. But I keep on listening to the voices that don’t deserve my discussion.”

I really am unsure of things. My mind can manipulate itself, yet it is not smart enough to realize it is being manipulated. Am I concentrating to much on myself and not enough on God? I know that there is a point that you can focus so much on your sin that it can over cloud the grace of God. Then we are no longer living by faith, we a living by sight, and we cannot live by sight, but by faith. Through faith I have been saved by grace, this is what John tells us.

I guess I should remember what Paul says in Gal. 1:10. “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I Trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Yet now I am answered but God through Galatians. “If, while we seek to be justified in Christ, it becomes evident that we ourselves are sinners…” (Gal. 2:17). I am a sinner! Why is this so hard for me to accept? Yet, “…through the law I died to the law so that I might live for God. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Gal. 2:19-20). Am I still ruled by sin? Paul states in Romans 7:18-24;

18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?

I will state again that in verse 25 of Romans chapter 7, it is Christ Jesus who saves me from this wretched body of death. I will fear no condemnation, “because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life sets me free from the law of sin and death. Yet this still does not answer my question. Why if I am in Christ do I still sin! It is my human nature; it is my humanity shining through. This is something that I cannot get…Yet as I see this, how can I even know the love of God and what Jesus has done for us if I don't know my own sinfulness. I guess to answer my own question, we are sinners, and we need to know this so that we will rely on the grace of God, but we must leave it there if we dwell on this to much we lose our focus which should be the grace of God!